Whatever Movie Lines This Could Be Us but You Playing Funny
One of the worst things a movie can do to a viewer is to break the magical suspension of disbelief that makes watching a movie so enjoyable. And nothing destroys that more than a jarring line that's corny, nonsensical, incoherent or all of the above.
Come along and check out lines that'll make you go wonder why screenwriters get paid for their work. You may be surprised by the source of some of these terrible quips!
The Room (2003)
Tommy Wiseau's The Room is notable for being one of the most quotable, awful movies of all time. Its popularity as the worst movie ever is so great that James Franco decided to direct and star in a movie about the making of the movie titled The Disaster Artist in 2017.
Honestly, there's hardly a line of dialogue in the movie that doesn't belong on this list. If you have to pick just one, however, "I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not! Oh, hi, Mark!" stands out for its sheer, baffling incongruity.
The '90s were a time of natural disaster blockbusters that featured tornadoes, earthquakes and volcanoes. Dante's Peak — not to be confused with Twin Peaks or Dante's Inferno, by the way — was one of the first.
The story begins with a geologist, played by Pierce Brosnan, and his arrival in Dante's Peak, Washington. He's there to measure seismic activity, and he gets plenty of opportunities to take some readings. But -— spoiler alert — he has to rescue his love interest's grandmother, resulting in this perfect, terrible line: "That's a good grandma."
Predator (1987)
The original Predator film is considered a classic, having spawned a franchise that continues to grow. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's jam-packed with cheesy lines and over-the-top action. However, the film's most ridiculous — yet kind of awesome — line doesn't come from the former California governor.
Blain, played by Jesse Ventura, is informed by a fellow mercenary that he's been shot and that he's bleeding. Without missing a beat, Blain replies, "I ain't got time to bleed." His buddy seems just as perplexed as the audience does, which makes the moment even better.
Love Story (1970)
The 70s were a different time with very different ideas about what a healthy romantic relationship looked like. It's no surprise then that this romance's dialogue didn't age gracefully.
The most famous line in Love Story is, "Love means never having to say you're sorry,". However, when you think about it for even a moment, the logic behind this statement is flawed. Why would you not take responsibility for your actions when they hurt the people you love? If anything, love gives you even more of a reason to say you're sorry.
Star Wars: Episode II — Attack Of The Clones (2002)
Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones has been reamed time and time again for its cheesy dialogue and wonky computer graphics. Some fans love it with all its flaws, but others despise and revile the second episode of the Star Wars saga.
As Anakin Skywalker, Hayden Christensen got to unleash profound observations like, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere." Wow. I guess George Lucas really wanted us to know that Darth Vader didn't like going to the beach.
Hard to Kill (1990)
Action films have some of the best and worst movie lines. 1990's Hard to Kill starring Steven Seagal contains a memorable example of the latter. In this film, Seagal plays a detective who is trying to solve a mystery. As he attempts to find patterns in the testimony and information he's collected, something happens.
Like a literal lightbulb flashing over his head, he solves the case and (spoiler alert), says this oh-so-threatening line: "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent … to the blood bank." It seems more a good deed than a threat.
The Wicker Man (2006)
Like The Room, 2006's remake of the 1973 horror film The Wicker Man is widely regarded as hilariously awful. When Nicholas Cage was cast for the main role, the film producers had to know they had a strange product on their hands.
Cage delivers his lines with a mixture of bemused apathy and sudden rage. Without giving too much away, the entire film is studded with memorably ridiculous pieces of dialogue, including, "Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey!" Oh, the bees. Why does it always have to be about the bees?
Gigli (2003)
When your film is nominated for several bad movie awards from two different entities and proceeds to win several categories during each award ceremony, you know you've got a stinker. Such was the confusing and untimely mess that was Gigli.
Both Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were at the top of their game when they decided to be a part of this production. Lopez ended up getting to say things like, "It's turkey time … gobble gobble," to Affleck. In retrospect, the movie may have been a step backward.
The Social Network (2010)
Mark Zuckerberg credits himself for creating Facebook, but he wasn't completely alone in creating one of the most massive social media platforms in the world. The 2010 film The Social Network sought to explore that fact.
In the film, Jess Eisenberg — playing Zuckerberg — said, "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook." The statement is certainly rude on its own, but it's also extraordinarily redundant and a bit silly. Overall, it doesn't seem like something the real Zuckerberg would say — hopefully!
North by Northwest (1959)
If you thought the 1970s were a different time, you'd better watch out for the 1950s. North by Northwest is still considered a film classic, though it would be hard to imagine anyone speaking, acting, dressing or generally being like the people seen in the movie today.
At one point, Cary Grant's young female counterpart looks coyly at him and says, "I never discuss love on an empty stomach." To which he replies, "You've already eaten." And she, eyelashes fluttering, says, "But you haven't." This must have been both scandalous and confusing in 1959.
Batman & Robin (1997)
Batman & Robin (1997) seems to have more ice-related puns than an actual story. The film is held together by a torturous blend of puns, pratfalls and outrageous villains. It has a very neo-Adam West vibe.
Lines like "Let's kick some ice!" or "Stay cool, bird-boy" are parr for the course in this movie. Especially after Christopher Nolan's reboot starting in 2005, most people have come to recognize Batman & Robin as one of the worst, cheesiest Batman movies of all time.
Twilight (2008)
Twilight is an easy target for those looking for ridiculous, cringe-worthy dialogue. Both in the book and the film, there are more than a few sentences that leave you wondering what the creator(s) were thinking.
When Robert Pattinson playfully tells Kristen Stewart, "You better hold on tight, spider monkey," the viewer is left with unanswered questions. What prompted his character to come up with such a bizarre term of endearment? Has he used it before? Maybe Edward's spent his entire decade of undeath referring to girls and women as exotic primates.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Yes, the Harry Potter book series was written for children and pre-teens. Yes, sometimes they oversimplify grand concepts to make them more palatable for young people. Yes, at one point in the film series, Harry does just come out and say, "I love magic."
It just comes across as hokey and perhaps too much of an effort to turn Harry into a stand-in for the reader. Sure, Harry has a lot of reasons to love magic, and yes, the franchise is built on a certain degree of wish-fulfillment, but this line just sounds off.
Jack Frost (1998)
Sometimes so-called family-friendly movies can be bizarrely dark. An absent dad that dies in a car crash and comes back as a loveable snowman, determined to form a stronger relationship with his son is, frankly, a hard sell.
Jack Frost does a decent job making everything seem much more lighthearted than it actually is. At other times, however, you end up with strangely dark puns, such as, "Snow dad is better than no dad." Really?
There Will Be Blood (2007)
There Will Be Blood is a period piece that takes place in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Most of the dialogue is very accurate for the time. Consequently, when a character says, "I'm your brother…from another mother," it's just plain jarring to audiences who moments ago were imagining an earlier time.
The anachronistic dialogue just can't be ignored, which is why it's one of the most memorable movie lines of recent film history. Well, that line and also the one about a milkshake.
Troy (2004)
The 2004 film Troy didn't receive a lot of acclaim despite its star-studded cast. With actors like Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom and Eric Bana, you'd expect it to be a hit, but reviews were pretty mixed. The filmography of the movie was stunning, but the dialogue can leave much to be desired.
When Pitt cursed, "You sack of wine!", some viewers weren't sure they heard him correctly. A sack of wine? If you think about it, he's probably implying that the other character is only good for holding alcohol, but the immediate impression is just bafflement. Wouldn't insulting someone like this be like calling someone a 'can of beer'?
Ghost (1990)
Ghost is a classic. Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg — what's there not to love? Although this movie has some of the most oft-quoted lines in history and continues to be referenced in television and film today, it also has one of the lamest replies ever given in response to an admission of love.
Early on in the film, Moore's character tells Swayze's character that she loves him. His response? "Ditto." Seriously. But when the lovers once again make contact, this little word is all it takes to convince Moore's character that her beau is really there.
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
Michael Bay has a formula, and things always go better when he sticks to it. Explosions, wild action sequences and attractive people are all things he can handle when directing movies. But dialogue? Not so much.
Marky-Mark has come a long way in his acting career, and he doesn't deserve to have to respond to a line like, "My face is my warrant." And yet, the fourth installment of the Transformers series made that happen. Luckily, most of the film was awesome fights and chase scenes, not talking.
The Matrix (1999)
The Matrix blew a lot of minds when it was released in 1999. Philosophically heavy and inventive and with a cyberpunk twistt, millions of viewers fell in love with the film. Unfortunately, even though the film displayed some of the most advanced computer-generated graphics of its time, there were also a few lines of dialogue that just didn't work.
When Morpheus asks Tank for updates on Neo's progress, Tank says that he's been training for 10 hours. Then he adds, "He's…a machine." Badum-tshh. It's a pretty awkward pun, and it's not clear if it's intentional.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
Action films and westerns alike tend to be goldmines for bad dialogue, and Once Upon a Time in Mexico doesn't disappoint. When Johnny Depp delivers the line, "Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?", they hit the cringe jackpot.
Perhaps the most awkward thing about this quip is that it's directed at Danny Trejo. No one messes with Danny Trejo. Still, the whole cast probably had a good laugh at how ridiculous the line was — either that, or a few arguments.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
When The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was released in 2003, it was widely panned by critics and dismissed by audiences. The film brought together Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Dorian Gray, and the result was 110 minutes of pure absurdity.
The dialogue doesn't disappoint. "I hoped I'd get to nail you one more time," observes Dorian Gray at one point. "Didn't think it'd be literally." Sure, it's a bad pun, but sometimes a bad movie can be good in its own way.
Saturn 3 (1980)
Farrah Fawcett may have been a sex icon in her day, but that doesn't excuse anyone — ever — for saying something like, "Your body is very beautiful. I'd like to use it," to the gorgeous actress. Yet British sci-fi film Saturn 3 features a total creep who says just that.
Things get even more awkward when he proceeds to tell her that "where he's from," people have sex all the time for pleasure, and she should be more open to his culture. It feels too greasy to be funny.
Face/Off (1997)
Most people either love Face/Off or hate it. For some reason, this tends to be true of most John Travolta and Nicholas Cage films. What's beyond dispute, however, is how crazy the film is. The two main characters switch faces, sure, but the dialogue really makes it absurd.
"It's like looking into a mirror," observes one character sagaciously, "Only not." Wow. Such poetry about swapping faces — only not. The craziness of Travolta and Cage, and the bizarre things they said, make Face/Off a ridiculous treasure.
Dirty Dancing (1986)
Dirty Dancing is still a captivating film, even thirty years after its release. But when Jennifer Grey — "Baby" Houseman — finds herself amid a hot n' heavy staff party, she kind of forgets how to use words. When a young, attractive Patrick Swayze — Johnny Castle — approaches her to dance, she says, "I carried a watermelon."
She is, of course, explaining how she ended up getting into the party in the first place, but of course, she's missing all of the preliminary exposition that might have helped her to not sound like a complete lunatic.
Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)
Ever After, The 1998 retelling of the classic Cinderella story, had some genuinely charming moments. It also had Drew Barrymore doing a less-than-convincing English accent.
Moviegoers were left feeling a tad confused when Barrymore asked a fellow character, "A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?" Surely, she's trying to compare the bird and fish to herself and her royal lover, but it comes off as just unnatural.
Con Air (1997)
There is not a single moment of Con Air that doesn't make viewers question the nature of reality. Unlike The Matrix, which suggests that everyone is living in a virtual reality program run by machines, Con Air uses unrealistic dialogue and outrageous fight sequences to make the viewer wonder how such a movie could ever be made in the real world.
When Nicholas Cage tells a fellow inmate, "Put the bunny back in the box … I said: 'Put the bunny back in the box," the audience knows that something crazy is about to go down. And they're not disappointed.
She's All That (1999)
She's All That hasn't aged well. It's the story of a popular high school jock who is challenged by his friend to turn the 'ugliest duckling' of the school into a prom queen, and all without her know what he's up to. The Taming of the Shrew may have worked for Shakespeare, but the Bard clearly wasn't behind this one.
In one memorable scene, the character Laney Boggs quips, "I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing." Truth be told, it's a pretty funny line, even if it comes across a bit awkwardly.
The World Is Not Enough (1999)
As Mike Myers pointed out repeatedly in his Austin Powers films, the Bond men like an excellent woman-based pun. when Christmas Jones introduced herself at the start of The World is Not Enough, it was only a matter of time before Pierce Brosnan's 007 slipped a pun her way.
It took the whole film, but finally, as fireworks explode in the background, Bond joked, "I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey." Classy, James, very chic. Although, admittedly, nothing beats, "I thought Christmas only comes once a year." Cringing so hard right now.
Armageddon (1998)
Armageddon is full of space drama. But space dementia? Sure, the looming apocalypse could be enough to drive anyone out of their mind, but this film had the bad luck of following Deep Impact and possessing some awful dialogue. What do you expect from an early Michael Bay film, really?
According to this vision of the not-so-distant future, enough time in space can lead to a total loss of memory. As one character says of Steve Buscemi's character, "He's got space dementia." Sure. Totally sounds like a thing.
A Cry in the Dark (1988)
This ridiculous movie line has been misquoted for generations, its actual origins are quite sad. In 1980, the Chamberlain family in Australia lost their baby daughter to a dingo. The baby — and the dingo — disappeared one August night, never to be seen again.
Meryl Streep played the mother of the missing girl in a 1988 film titled A Cry in the Dark, and most viewers will remember her shouting, "The dingo took my baby!" There's something so absurd about it that it was even lampooned on Seinfeld by a drunk Elaine Benice.
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Source: https://www.smarter.com/article/ridiculous-cringe-worthy-lines-movie-history?utm_content=params%3Ao%3D740011%26ad%3DdirN%26qo%3DserpIndex
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